! ADVERTISING.
Once again, Rune industries™ have risked their lives to bring you, the reader, some text on a web page that no-one ever reads.

But this does not deter us from badgering the truth with a small stick until it cries.

This weeks discussion is on a subject that is close to all our hearts. No, its not the left lung, its "Advertising"!

YES!

What advertising is:
"Advertising is salesmanship. The only purpose of advertising is to make sales. It is profitable or unprofitable according to its actual sales."

Thats what we thought. Until we looked a bit further into the subject and decided that Advertising is a Satanic device to control our souls. Now, dont get us wrong, the methods involved in Advertising could be turned to GREAT GOOD. But this is not the case. Advertising is trying to make us purchase things we dont need, with money we dont have. Where is the good in that?

NOWHERE! NOWHERE!

You see our point. Surely.

Let us explain ourselves. With clarity. And Claret.

Say for example you want some Mayonaisse. You go to the local thoroughfare with some of you hard earned federal cash and you wander down the aisle looking for the delicious eggy substance. You arrive at a shelf that looks promising, and LO! There is mayonaisse everywhere! In different pots, cans, bags and in extreme cases, cats. But now you have a problem. Which eggy spread is the one for you? Which one will taste the best? Which one will give you cancer of the soul and render your acumen useless? The answer is simple. The one for you is the one you have seen on the telly. Yes, that's right. I'm talking about Hellmans.

We here at Rune Industries LOVE Hellmans mayonaisse so much we invite it to parties, even though it rarely turns up.

But why do we love its albumeny texture so? Because of the telly, that's why. If we had never ever seen an "advert" for this particular brand of Mayo then we too would be like you, stuck in the aisle wondering which particular eggstract was for us. Dazed and confused, even the Mighty Rune Industries™ would soon crumble at such an quandry.

But because the idea of the product was placed in our heads, we buy the item we recognise, regardless of its quality or egginess.

But HOW can this be turned to the greater good I hear you splutter?

Well, let us tell you.

Advertising agencies, along with our Government should be placing subliminal messages on every television station. Messages that state "Make love, not war", "Hug your neighbour, dont stab him", "Give Rune Industries™ all your money!" and even "Don't vote for us, we suck".

This would make the world a slightly better place to live in. On the downside it would mean that television would be compulsory, which would suck. Bigtime.

Speaking of things that suck, most things do. Toodle PIP!

Edited by Hugo Rune on 31/05/2003 00:20:51